


It's A Long Road

by Kimmimaru



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alcohol, Awkward Flirting, Bit of comedy, Drunk Sex, Grief/Mourning, Jealous Shiro (Voltron), Jealousy, M/M, Post Season 7, aftermath of war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-27 02:39:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15676338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimmimaru/pseuds/Kimmimaru
Summary: After the robeast, after the war and all the fighting and grief there's a moment of quiet. It's the sort of quiet that comes before a storm but that doesn't stop the Paladin's of Voltron from celebrating the defeat of the Galran fleet.Alcohol makes people more honest, but certainly not any wiser.





	It's A Long Road

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Draycarla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draycarla/gifts).



After the robeast, after the war and all the fighting and grief there's a moment of quiet. It's the sort of quiet that comes before a storm but that doesn't stop the Paladin's of Voltron from celebrating the defeat of the Galran fleet. The celebration is tinged by sadness, Shiro is distracted somewhat, eyes distant and he's not talking much. Allura looks tired, leaning against the back of the seats they had found in a nearly empty bar; cradling her strange, human drink as if it's the elixir of life. Lance sits beside her, his sister close by as they stare at the table and occasionally share fond smiles. Coran is off, busy with the Atlas. Pidge is also absent, preferring to spend time with her family. Hunk is sat talking to Shay, their smiles and soft laughter a strange counterpoint to the sombre air surrounding them all.  
  
The bar is quiet, small, intimate. Keith is sat at the bar, staring at the array of drinks behind it while the bar tender awaits his order. He's still feeling weirdly numb, all the loss and pain the war brought rings in his ears like a klaxon. It's not an end, it won't be over until they find out what the hell that monster robot was that had almost killed them. However, for now, they can rest. He closes his eyes, stifling a yawn behind his hand.  
  
“Hey, kid, you gonna order?”  
  
“Uuhhh...”  
  
“I'll get this,”  
  
A hand on Keith's shoulder makes him turn to see a boy around his age, something tugs at his memory. He feels familiar, “Do I know you?”  
  
“I'm kinda offended,” The boy smiles, “It's James, we were in the same class, remember?”

  
Keith can only blink at him blankly, “Sorry, I'm...no good with faces.”  
  
“You punched me, remember that?”  
  
“Oh...oh yeah...” Keith smiles awkwardly, “Sorry about that,”  
  
James laughs, it's a nice sound and puts Keith a little more at ease, “It's all water under the bridge, after what you guys did I can't hold any grudges.”

Keith smiles then, “You did good too, never knew anyone who could fly like that. I'm impressed.”

James flushes, eyes darting away, “I'm nowhere near Shiro's level,”  
  
“I don't think anyone is,” Keith agrees, turning to look over his shoulder at Shiro who's staring down into his drink. He notices the small shake in his hand and bites his lower lip, frowning in concern. He'd had word that Adam had been one of the first casualties, he had known the guy and he'd always been kind to him despite him constantly hanging around his fiancé like a lost kitten.  
  
“So, what're you drinking? It's on me.”  
  
Keith's jerked back to the present by James' hand on his wrist, he eyes the selection of alcohol, “Honestly, I have no idea. I've been away from earth so long now I've forgotten what most of it tastes like,”  
  
“Then let me choose,” James orders them some drinks and the bar tender pours them both several shots. When they arrive Keith stares down at them warily, James picks up his own and lifts it with a smile, “To victory.”  
  
Keith looks up at him and finally picks up his own drink, “Yeah...I guess...” He answers uncertainly, then he downs it. It tastes like acid as it slides down his throat, burning as it goes. He winces, making a twisted face, “ _Ugh_...”  
  
James laughs quietly, “Try another, it gets easier.”  
  
Keith isn't sure he believes him but takes his second shot anyway.  
  
Shiro's on his fifth drink when he hears it, a sound few hear; Keith's laughter. Not the soft chuckles he normally uses but a full-blown laugh. It's loud enough that it grabs everyone's attention, Lance looks up from a conversation with his sister and even Allura's eyebrows rise in surprise. All eyes move to Keith who is leaning against the bar and talking to some other young man Shiro can't remember. He's handsome, not too tall but well built and smirking in a way that makes Shiro's hackles rise.  
  
Keith's laughter trails off into quiet huffs, James hands him a glass half-full of amber liquid and he sips it with a mild wince. James had been right, drinking did get easier the more you did it. He feels pleasantly warm, his face flushed as he looks at James and starts to notice the texture of his hair and the sparkle in his eye. Keith looks away, taking a large gulp of his drink to hide the fact that he's been staring. He chokes and a hand lands on his back, it's gentle and rubs small circles across his shoulders. When he looks up James has moved much closer. Keith's flush deepens, his eyes dropping down to James' lips as he speaks, “You ok? Looked like you were trying to drown yourself.”  
  
“Huh?” Keith can feel himself swaying, blinking slowly as he forces his eyes upwards again, “S'rry...feel a bit...” He struggles to put his thoughts into words.  
  
“Yeah, you've drunk quite a lot there,” James laughs, it's a nice sound that makes Keith smile. James looks at him, an unusual light in his eyes as he leans forward and brushes hair from Keith's forehead, “Ya'know, you're really pretty.” He admits, finger tips lingering on Keith's forehead.  
  
Keith can feel how hot his face is now, his eyes widen as he blinks at James. He's so close he can feel his hot breath against his face, an awkward moment passes and James moves his hand to Keith's. Slowly he links their fingers together, never breaking eye contact, “Gotta admit, I've had a pretty big crush on you since you punched my lights out.”  
  
Keith's eyes move away, he lowers his head, “Yeah? Thanks...I...I guess...”  
  
“Really cute,” James chuckles, curling his fingers around Keith's, “You wanna get outta here-”  
  
Keith almost jumps out of his seat when a hand comes down hard on his shoulder, he looks up, blinking, “Sh-shiro?”  
  
“Hey, maybe it's time you went home kid.” Shiro's eyes look...odd. They're narrowed as he stares at James, like he's a bug he's found in his food. Keith has rarely seen Shiro truly angry, having his clone try and kill him didn't count. Keith feels a shiver run down his spine and in his drunken state it takes him a moment to recognise what it is; excitement.  
  
“Sir, with all due respect-”  
  
“I'm not asking, cadet.” Shiro's voice snaps through the quiet bar, causing everyone at the table to look over at them in shock.  
  
Lance gapes, never having seen Shiro actually pull rank on anyone. He looks furious, the hand resting on Keith's shoulder slides down to his back, resting there in a way that makes Lance start to suspect something.  
  
“Oh my,” Allura whispers, concern in her eyes as she watches Shiro, “Is he ok?”  
  
“Uh...I think he's protecting Keith.” Lance replies, uncertainly.  
  
Shiro shifts slightly, his shoulders straightening, “Look, this isn't the time or the place for this...whatever it is you're doing. I want you to leave.”  
  
James stands slowly, hands up, “Sorry, sir. I was just...trying to reconnect with an old friend.”  
  
“Yeah, right. Go home, cadet.”  
  
James stares at Keith for a second too long, Shiro steps between them and folds his real and prosthetic arm over his broad chest. His glare says it all and James finally backs down, “Fine, I'm leaving. Keith, if you ever wanna hook up, just call me.”  
  
Shiro glares daggers as James scurries away, he doesn't relax until he's out of sight. Slowly he turns around to see Keith watching after him, “What...what happened?” He asks, voice slurring a little, “He was jus' bein' friendly...”  
  
“He was getting you drunk, Keith. He wanted to get into your pants,”  
  
“Into my...bu' why?” Keith looks up into Shiro's eyes, now as soft as they ever were when they looked at Keith, “I'm no' interestin' or-”  
  
“Keith, you're-” Shiro manages, somehow, to halt that sentence before it can be completed. He lifts his hand, making a weird, aborted motion before letting it fall back to his side.  
  
“He was nice,” Keith muttered, smiling drunkenly up at Shiro, “Bu' not sure I can even walk straight right now...” He giggles, actually giggles and almost slides off his stool but Shiro catches him, “Wow...ya'know, I never thought about it before but you got _huge_ arms...” Keith reaches out and squeezes Shiro's bicep, “'s nice...”  
  
Shiro can feel his face heat up, eyes wide as they stare at a very drunk Keith swaying and telling him how nice his muscles are. Something in the back of his mind screams at him to back off, get someone to take Keith to bed so he can wake up and nurse his hang over in peace but the larger, drunker part of his mind is telling him to take steps he's always been too terrified to take when sober.  
  
“Sh-Shiro?”  
  
Keith's voice brings Shiro back to the present, “Huh?” He says, eloquently. Keith is looking up at him, eyes shining and wide, lips parted and slightly shiny in the dim lights and oh...oh...Shiro knows he has to stop this now before it all gets taken too far but he can't move. He's frozen by Keith's intense gaze and it's pulling him in like a tractor beam. Shit.  
  
“I said; I'm gonna need some help gettin' back to my room.”  
  
“Oh...oh yeah, c'mere, I'll help you.”  
  
“Thanks,” Keith's face is flushed pink as Shiro helps him up, he leans on Shiro as they make their slow way to the door.  
  
Lance watches after them, face twisted in a grimace, “Oh man, that was painful to watch.” He shakes his head and finishes his drink, “Someone needs to give them both lessons in flirting.”  
  
“Well, it ain't gonna be you,” Hunk mutters from his seat, causing Lance to throw a beer matt at his head.  
  
Keith is forced to lean most of his weight on Shiro, his legs feel wobbly and weird. He's drunk alcohol before, back before they'd all left earth but he'd never been this drunk before. His head swims pleasantly, Shiro is a nice, comforting warmth by his side and there's something intense about the way he'd protected him back at the bar. Keith can still feel the tingles on his skin from Shiro's touch, the way his fingers dig into his side. He closes his eyes briefly, savouring the moment but it's a mistake. Shiro's not all that sober himself and Keith's lack of sight throws him off balance, together they stumble into a wall. Keith finds himself squashed against the stone by Shiro's weight, the breath slightly knocked out of him. Shiro's newly white hair falls into his eyes as he looks down at Keith, he feels so small in his hands which now rest on either side of his waist. Before he can stop himself he squeezes gently, watching Keith's eyelids flutter. They find themselves staring at each other for a moment too long. Shiro's eyes drop down to Keith's lips, he has one trapped between his teeth and...Shiro jerks away, blinking himself out of the stupor.  
  
“S'rry...” He mutters, words slurring against his will, “C'mon, le's go...”  
  
Keith follows obediently, hyper aware of Shiro's every movement. They're pressed up against each others sides, his body is uncooperative and he finds himself trying to move closer which only sends Shiro staggering sideways. Keith giggles, the world swaying beneath his feet as Shiro yanks him as he stumbles. They fall against a door with a loud thud and this time Keith's pinning Shiro. Shiro's brain feels as if it's relocated itself in his dick, he can feel it twitching as Keith falls against him. They're chest-to-chest and Keith is looking up at him with wide, shining eyes; one of his thighs pressing a little too closely to Shiro's embarrassing problem.  
  
“Damn...this corridor won' stay still...” Keith mumbles, leaning forward and pressing his face against Shiro's broad chest, “Mm, you're warm...lemme sleep here...”  
  
Shiro laughs, his hands moving around Keith's waist to his back and before he knows it he's dragging him closer, “That'd be bad. Can't have people seein' us passing out in hallways.”  
  
Keith laughs, a breathy sound that sends a shiver down Shiro's spine, he lifts his head and nuzzles at Shiro's throat, “Ya'know...you always smell so good...” Keith lifts his arms, hooking them behind Shiro's neck and forces him down until their faces are way too close. The world around them spins, their eyes meet and time itself comes to a grinding halt.  
  
Shiro swallows, frowning when Keith's lips brush his throat, “K-Keith...” It comes out a breathless whisper, a sound all too similar to a groan when Keith's teeth scrape his adams apple, “God... _Keith_...”  
  
“You know how long I've wan'ed to hear you say my name like that?” Keith whispers, closing his eyes, “Shiro-”  
  
“We...we've gotta get you back to your room.” Shiro uses the last reserves of his strength to push Keith gently away, “You're drunk,”  
  
“So're you,” Keith reminds him, flashing him a small smile.  
  
“Yeah...” Shiro takes a deep breath before pushing himself away from the wall, “Right, come on, le's go...”  
  
After a lot more falling and stumbling they finally make it back to Keith's temporary quarters, the barracks is full to capacity what with the arrival of the rebels but the Paladin's had earned themselves their own rooms. Keith's suddenly extremely grateful that they hadn't gone to Shiro's. He knows that they have given him back his old quarters, a place too full of memories of Adam. Somehow Keith gets the door open, fumbling painfully with the key card before the door hissed open. He stumbled through, feeling Shiro grab for him and hold him steady. They giggled, moving down the hallway in the dark. Shiro's hands are hot against Keith's skin, their fingers tangling together as Keith pulls him towards his bedroom. Neither of them are thinking, even as Keith lets himself fall back onto the bed. Shiro holds steady at the end, eyes on Keith as he starts fumbling with his boots.  
  
“Shit. Damn it.” Keith curses, unable to get his laces undone.  
  
Shiro laughs again, his smile bright in the gloom. He moves to help Keith with them and together they get them undone. Shiro's fingers shake, although he does that a lot there's something new. Something potentially dangerous sitting heavy in the air between them, a tension Shiro had tried to ignore for all the time they'd been in space. Keith's watching him from against the pillows, eyes heavily lidded, dark in a way Shiro's only ever dreamed of. His fingers rest on Keith's ankle, the skin is soft as he lets them trail up further, beneath the leg of his pants. Keith twitches and it seems to break Shiro's trance. He blinks, clears his throat and stands up, “So...you gonna be ok?”  
  
“Stay,” Keith whispers, sitting up and reaching out, “Shiro...”  
  
Shiro turns, looking at Keith. The light from the moon filters in from the flimsy curtains that cover the window, it highlights the scar on Keith's cheek...a scar his clone...his _body_ had created. Keith beckons him with his hand and Shiro's drawn to him like a sailor to a siren. He kneels on the bed, shuffling somewhat awkwardly up until he's almost on top of Keith. Keith grabs him, fingers digging into Shiro's wrist as he yanks him down. Shiro uses his human hand to stroke at Keith's cheek, his hand shaking worse than before. They haven't talked about it, it's all been happening too fast but it's something that's been playing on Shiro's mind since he woke up in the healing chamber. He swallows, teeth clicking together as he buries his face in Keith's neck, “Keith...I-” Shiro feels himself lifted so that he's looking down into Keith's face, a finger finds his lips.  
  
“Don't. Not now. Just...kiss...” Kieth mutters, his voice slurring as he pulls Shiro down again.  
  
Shiro misses Keith's mouth by millimetres, their lips barely brushing. He pulls away and they try again, this time his aim is a bit better. It's...not the best kiss either of them have had before but it makes Shiro moan, it makes Keith's fingers slide up Shiro's arms and into his hair. It's messy, a little wetter than is strictly pleasant but Keith can taste the sharp tang of alcohol on Shiro's tongue, he can feel the heavy weight of his body against his own and it feels... _amazing_. He's wanted this for as long as he can remember. Since Shiro had bailed him out for stealing his car. It lasts for a breathless few moments before Shiro's pulling away, sliding his hands up Keith's body and shifting them as they try to struggle out of their clothes as best they can.

Shiro can't remember the last time he'd been that intimate with anyone and he hadn't considered the possibility that Keith may have had some one night stands during their stint in space. It's not something that makes him feel particularly good so he shoves that thought aside. He focusses on how soft Keith's skin is under his palms, he listens to the way Keith's voice catches in his throat when he presses soft little kisses to his throat. He moans when Keith lifts his hips, pressing their cocks together. The friction distracts him a moment before he remembers that Keith is still wearing pants and that can't be tolerated. Shiro grabs him by the hips and drags him half way down the bed, grunting when Keith nips at the inside of his wrist and gives him a playful little smirk. Shiro's never really noticed before but Keith has some damn sharp teeth, “Li'l shit,” Shiro smiles, unbuttoning Keith's pants, “You'll pay for that,”

  
“Mm, you gonna punish me?” Keith slurs, wiggling to help Shiro get him out of his trousers, “I like it when it hurts, _sir_.”  
  
It's as if someone has punched the breath from his lungs when Keith says that, Shiro's eyes widen briefly, face flushed and panting. He swallows, hard, “ _Fuck_. You tryin' to kill me?”  
  
Keith laughs, wrapping his now trouser free legs around Shiro's waist and dragging him down to him, “No. It'd be no fun if you died.” He hisses, licking a stripe up Shiro's throat, “You gonna fuck me, sir? I need you inside me, _captain_.”  
  
Shiro makes a very undignified sound in his throat, feeling Keith arch up against him. He has a light in his eyes that drips desire, Shiro's so weak. He pulls back, using both hands to yank his own shirt up over his head. Then he moves down, shoving Keith's shirt upwards to reveal his belly. He bends his head and runs his tongue slowly upwards, feeling Keith shudder beneath him. Keith has put on some impressive muscle, he's still skinny but he's strong. Shiro feels his abs flex beneath his tongue as he uses his hands to pin Keith down. Keith is strong, but Shiro's new arm is much, much stronger.

Keith squirms, painting and gasping as Shiro's talented tongue slides over his skin. He's thrown his head back, lips parted on a gasp that's trapped in his chest. Shiro's hands hold him down and he's unable to move. It's better than any wet dream he's had and when Shiro's teeth dig into the skin on his bony hip he can't help but mutter Shiro's name into the darkness. Somehow his fingers find Shiro's hair and he grips it tightly, pulling hard enough to make Shiro curse fluently against the skin of his stomach. Shiro bites him harder in retaliation, “ _Fuck_ , Shiro...”

Shiro leaves behind several harsh bruises before he's satisfied, he looks up and catches his breath. Keith is watching him, lips wet, parted and eyes dark. His hair is messy from all his writhing, he's beautiful. Shiro hooks his fingers into Keith's underwear and pulls them to his knees, Keith lifts his hips up as they're removed then kicks them off the bed. Shiro moves back up, pulling Keith up by his arms and snatching his jaw, “You gonna give me any more lip, Paladin?” Shiro mutters, his voice low and hoarse in a way that has Keith panting and desperate. His cock is already achingly hard, if Shiro keeps it up he'll come right there and then. Keith groans, licking his lips slowly, making sure Shiro can see it.  
  
“Fuck me, sir. I need you.”  
  
And Shiro can't say no. They're beyond that now. He yanks Keith in for a deep kiss, their tongues meeting before their lips do. It's messy, wet and Shiro's teeth bump Keith's at least twice but neither of them really care.  
  
Shiro wraps a hand around Keith's cock, it feels nice in his hand and the tip is already wet. Keith chokes on his breath, eyes fluttering closed as Shiro strokes him from root to tip, “Bet that James guy couldn't make you feel like this,” He whispers, leaning over Keith, watching his face intently, “Bet he couldn't make you moan like I can,”  
  
Keith moans again, feeling Shiro thumb the head of his cock, “...No...No one can.” Keith agrees.  
  
“Good. From now on I only want you to think of me when you jerk off, is that clear Paladin?”

Keith curses under his breath at the command in Shiro's tone, “F-fuck...Yes...yes sir...”  
  
Shiro leans down and kisses Keith again, his lips soft, wet and pliant. Keith's fingers find his hair again as he lifts his hips up, moving in time with Shiro's strokes. Shiro releases him, causing him to whine petulantly before he divests himself of his own boxers. They fall from the bed as Shiro grabs one of Keith's legs and pushes it against his chest. He presses his weight on it, gazing down into Keith's face intently, “We...we're gonna need lube,” he mutters, not drunk enough to attempt sex without it.  
  
“Huh?” Keith's too far gone to really comprehend what Shiro's saying, it takes a moment for his mind to catch up, “Oh...yeah...” He reaches behind himself and pulls out a small bottle of clear liquid from under his pillow, “Luckily I had some left over before we came back to Earth,”  
  
“Where did you-” Shiro shuts his mouth on that, he didn't want to know, “Never mind.” He snatches it from Keith's hand and tries to open it, his hands shaking too badly, “Damn it.” He hisses until finally the bottle opens with a pop. Quickly he coats his fingers in it and notices it smells strange, not like anything they'd get on earth. He can only assume Keith had been doing some shopping while they were in space.  
  
Prep is short and perfunctory, once again Shiro is trying to push aside thoughts of how it's so easy when as far as he knew Keith hadn't had much time for casual sex. He pushes thoughts of Keith and some random alien from his mind and finishes his work quickly, Keith's not helping when he digs finger nails into Shiro's broad shoulders and drags them down his back. Finally though, Keith is ready. The lube falls to the side after Shiro runs his wet hands over his own cock while Keith watches eagerly.  
  
When Shiro settles between Keith's open legs and lifts them, Keith groans. He's waited so long. He's endured countless nights of intense dreams, of lonely what if's. Now, now he has what he's wanted for years. Shiro slides in slowly and it's fucking torture. Keith arches into him, pulling him closer by his hair. He's rough, hardly heeding the fine white strands that come free when he pulls away. Shiro gasps when he's fully inside, pupils blown wide in the darkness, eyes firmly fixed on Keith's flushed and panting face. They pause, the realisation of what they're doing threatening to worm it's sly way between them. But Keith wraps his long legs around Shiro's waist and pulls him back in, jerking him from the precipice. Keith digs sharp nails into Shiro's back, drawing blood, neither care too much when their lips meet again. Their kiss is frantic, needy. Keith tears Shiro's scarred skin, marking him even as Shiro marks his throat with bruises. The headboard hits the wall when Shiro starts to move, his thrusts driving the air from Keith's lungs.  
  
Pleasure explodes across his skin as Shiro pants against Keith's throat, he groans, hissing Shiro's name. The heels of his feet dig into the base of his spine and helps him set up a fast pace that has Keith crying out his name with abandon. The alcohol having destroyed all sense of caution.  
  
It's a little painful for Keith, a sharp sting that starts around his lower back but he likes it. It reminds him he's alive, it reminds him Shiro's alive. He arches his back, cursing when Shiro adjusts and hits his prostate. Sweat coats their bodies as they move together, foreheads pressed together, eyes closed. Shiro's hands slide up Keith's sides, teasing his nipples and noting the whine he produces. He sucks on the hickies he'd left on Keith's throat, reinforcing his claim. The marks would tell anyone with any sense of self-preservation who Keith belonged to. No one would try now, not after this. Keith was his. Finally. When they kissed, Keith bit at his bottom lip, drawing blood. Shiro deepened the kiss, tasting the tang of copper in Keith's mouth. His hips moved in an irregular rhythm. He got one hand under Keith's hips and reared back, balancing his weight on his knees. He curled a hand around Keith's cock.  
  
Keith moaned Shiro's name, a sound like a prayer. He looked up at him, moonlight glinting off of sweat drenched muscles and white hair. It didn't take long for Keith to feel the tell-tale tugging in his balls, he was close. Shiro kept up his brutal pace, a trickle of sweat sliding down his face as he watched Keith come undone beneath him, “Fuck...fuck Shiro...I'm-” Keith grunted, eyes snapping shut and mouth opening on a long, drawn out groan. His cock painted his stomach white, twitching in Shiro's hand. When Keith's body tensed around him, Shiro let himself fall over the edge too.  
  
Shiro fell forwards, leaning over Keith and panting. They stayed like that for a moment, catching their breaths until Keith began to stir, “Shiro?”  
  
Shiro let his eyes open, it was much harder than it should have been. He was exhausted, “Keith?” He mumbled, smiling and bringing both hands up to cup Keith's face, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips. Then he released him and pulled out, wincing before falling to the side. Keith curled up beside him, throwing one arm over his chest. His eyes are so heavy, he knows they should clean up but the room is still spinning and he's feeling kind of sick. Keith is a warm, heavy weight at his side and it's so comfortable...  
  
Shiro is woken brutally by a shaft of intense sunlight that stabs through his eyelids and right into his head. He groans, rolling away from it only to feel a warm, slightly sticky body beside him. He mutters something, his hand moving over a slim hip and up. He cracks open an eye, his memories from the previous night hazy and somewhat blank. He remembers being coaxed into going to a bar and then someone pissing him off but the rest is pretty much dark. He looks at the person in his bed, noting pale skin and scar on his shoulder and black hair...his eyes snap open wide and he jerks backwards.

The sudden movement and subsequent bang of Shiro falling out of bed wake Keith up, he mutters a string of curses and squints against the sunlight, “Turn the ligh' off...m' hurt...” He mumbles vaguely, rolling over towards the sound. He spots a head of white hair and frowns before recognition slowly edges into his soupy brain. “Huh? Shiro? Wha?”

  
“ _Keith_?!” Shiro is gazing at him with wide eyes, as he pushes himself slowly up onto his knees Keith notices how very naked he is.  
  
It's then that Keith notices the dull throb in his lower back and the stickiness between his thighs. Realisation hits him like a ten tonne truck, “Did...did we...?” Keith's voice is higher than normal, roughened by a killer hangover and numb shock.  
  
“I...I...Keith...I'm sorry...I didn't-I think we-I gotta go.” Shiro scrambles up, panic telling him to get out. Escape. He can't do it. Not now. He was grieving, he was in pain, he should never have taken advantage of Keith. He moves around the room, snatching up his clothes and trying to struggle into them. He can feel Keith's eyes on him, hear the blankets shift as he sits up but he can't bring himself to look. Shame wells up inside him, he sees Adam's face in his minds eye. Adam...oh _god_...  
  
Shiro pauses, closing his eyes, lifting his human hand to rub at them as they sting viciously. Behind him Keith watches, his silence the only answer to Shiro's shame. He manages to pull on his trousers, he can't find his boxers but doesn't have time. He has to get out before Keith starts hating him for what he's done. He has to leave and regain control. What a stupid, stupid thing to do. Risk one of his deepest friendships for a cheap fuck to forget his own pain. He'd been attracted to Keith for a long time but he'd spent equally as long determinedly ignoring it too. Keith had been drunk, he should never have touched him. God, what had he _done_? He finally manages to look up, he sees Keith watching him with a wide-eyed, confused expression. He looks so vulnerable, pale with dark circles beneath his eyes. Shiro had taken advantage of a friend, he was worse than scum.  
  
“Shiro?”  
  
“I...I have to go. Keith...I'm sorry...” With that Shiro turns and walks away, well, almost runs. Keith watches him go, his heart shattering.

 

Lance uses a spare key card to get into Keith's quarters, he had made a copy purely because the potential pranking possibilities were endless, but something told him to at least check up on him this morning. He entered the hallway, seeing a generic picture on the floor; the glass cracked. Lance sighs and goes towards the bedroom, however he halts when he hears the distinctive sound of someone puking. Lance chuckles to himself, moving to the bathroom door and opening it. One the floor, on his knees, is Keith. He's bent over the toilet, hugging it as if it's become his best friend in the last few minutes, “Soooo,” Lance leans against the door with a smug grin, “Regretting last night?”

“F-fuck...fuck off, Lance-urk...” Keith retches but it seems the worst is over for a while, he sits back and wipes the back of his hand over his mouth. Lance eyes him, he's pale, hair messy and he's covered in hickies.  
  
Lance's eyebrows rise, “Looks like someone had a good time, huh?” He says teasingly, watching Keith's eyes dart away.  
  
“Well...I can't really remember it.”  
  
“You were pretty wasted,” Lance agrees, “But uh...just to check, you and that James guy didn't...?”  
  
“What? Who's James?”  
  
Lance sighs, “The guy we shared a class with? The one who brought you all those drinks?”  
  
Keith frowns a moment before he nods, “Oh, him. No, I didn't go home with him.” he mutters, slumping back against the shower door with a groan, “I feel so bad.”  
  
Lance kneels down beside him, “Look, don't...don't go off on me, I'm just gonna say this because I'm worried but...last night you were so wasted you could barely stand. The only person you went home with was Shiro...Keith...I can make an educated guess what happened but are you sure that's what you wanted? And where is Shiro anyway?”  
  
Keith lowered his head, “'M too hungover for this...” He groaned, “I dunno what exactly happened but I do know that whatever it was I wanted it. I was drunk but I know myself well enough by now to say that Shiro didn't take advantage of me. He was equally as drunk as me.”  
  
“Ok. Good...that's...good.” Lance clears his throat, frowning at the stark white tiles, “ _Sooo_ , what you do remember, was it good?” There's a clear tease in his tone and he grins at Keith.  
  
Keith smiles down at his lap, “Yeah...Yeah I think it was.”  
  
“By the looks of it Shiro's really into biting,” Lance nods at Keith's throat, causing him to touch the bruises there, “Information I had no need to know.”  
  
Keith chuckles weakly, “I've gotta go find Shiro...He kinda ran outta here when he woke up.”  
  
“He ditched you? Dude, that sucks.”  
  
“Heh, tell me about it.” Keith remains where he is however while Lance gets back to his feet, “Uhh, can...can you gimme a hand? I'm stuck.”  
  
Lance laughs, holding out his hand and helping Keith to his feet, “C'mon, Hunk's making breakfast.”

  
“God, I'm starving.” Keith moans, rubbing his belly.

 

Shiro finds himself standing in front of the memorial, his eyes fixed on Adam's name. There's a bunch of flowers gripped in his fist but he can't seem to make himself put them down. When Adam had made him choose between the Kerberos mission and their relationship, Shiro had been angry. He'd gone because he'd been afraid it was his last mission and Adam had abandoned him because of it. Now, it all seemed so petty. He'd been expecting to come home and be able to talk to him at least, to give them both some sort of closure and now...now there was no chance of that ever happening. Shiro sank to his knees, finally laying the flowers down. He'd loved Adam. Loved him enough to accept his proposal. Those feelings never would go away. Even though he had developed guilt-ridden feelings for Keith, he would always have a place in his heart for Adam. Nothing would ever change that.  
  
Behind him the sun sets, but Shiro doesn't want to move. He doesn't move even when he hears a familiar set of footsteps, they move behind him before he sees Keith in the corner of his eye. Keith sits down at his side, putting down his own offering beside Shiro's own.  
  
“I...didn't even say good bye to him.” Shiro says suddenly, not looking up but he feels Keith place his hand over his own where it rests on the floor. A sharp wind picks up, blowing their hair around their faces and dust into their eyes. Shiro stares at Adam's name, engraved for eternity into stone, “I wanted...so much more for him. Keith...I'm-”  
  
“Don't be.” Keith says finally, eyes on the flowers Shiro has left, “You loved him. I get that. What we...what we did...it was a mistake. I was drunk and not really thinking straight.”  
  
Shiro finally looks at him, his fingers curling around Keith's and he squeezed, “It's not your fault, Keith. I fucked up-”  
  
“We both fucked up, Shiro.” Keith met Shiro's eyes and forced a strained sort of smile, “If you want, we can forget it ever happened. Go back to the way things were.” He looks away again, unable to stop his voice from hitching. He frowns, licking his lips, “Adam...Adam just wanted to see you safe and happy, Shiro. In that we're pretty similar.”  
“I don't want to forget about this.” Shiro says finally, frowning at the memorial, “I haven't seen Adam in years, it was over between us long before we actually broke up. The second I chose to go on that mission we were over. None of it had anything to do with you, Keith. And...you're right, Adam just wanted me to be happy. To...live.” Keith looks up, watching Shiro move closer. He remains silent, letting Shiro go at his own pace, “I've been attracted to you for some time now,” Shiro smiles, glancing over to see Keith blush brightly, “You've grown up, you're so strong Keith. Strong and you've grown into an amazing leader. I think maybe...I started to move on a long time ago. I was just...scared. Scared that i'd desecrated Adam's memory in some way, but that's not true. All those memories we made together, they'll always be with me but now...now I can maybe make some more.”  
  
Keith smiles, tightening his grip on Shiro's hand. He lets himself fall sideways so he's resting his head on Shiro's shoulder. They sit like that, the sun setting behind them and the wind blowing through their hair; hands clasped tightly until Pidge and Hunk find them to tell them it's time for dinner. 


End file.
